Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly Richmond

Author:Holly Richmond
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2021-08-09T17:11:47+00:00

Relational Effects Reflections

Which symptoms do you identify with most?

How does it feel to know that neither you nor your partner may not be solely responsible for your relationship difficulties?

What parts of your relationships—or lack thereof—feel informed by trauma?

What parts of your relationships feel informed by fondness or love?

“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it,” wrote poet and theologian Rumi.87 Your barriers make sense, but they do not make for a pleasureful or passionate life. Your walls can come down and you can feel safe. Safety and secure attachment aren’t mutually exclusive.

Thriving insists on investigating what’s being held just beneath the surface—the part you’ve been afraid to touch for fear of feeling too much. For a time, you concluded that the negative consequences of the known—your anxiety, pain, sexual problems, and failed relationships—were preferable to the fear of the unknown. In this case, you may have unconsciously decided it was better to have something to cling to, like your shame, a glass of wine, or a stranger’s hand you didn’t really want to hold, rather than the seemingly bottomless pit of the untold and uncontrollable. Your suffering held its place and served its purpose. Now it’s your truth’s time to shine. The following chapter sets the stage for you to put theory into practice through the unconditional pursuit of wholeness.

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